I’m losing it, and not for the reasons, those who know me, might think. I hit the floor running this morning, and haven’t slowed down since. The good thing in all this — which evokes a tinge of anger in me ….not directed at anyone, other than, maybe, myself — but because of the way my day has unfolded, I haven’t had a whole lot of time to think about mom. I’m not sure why I am of the mindset that today, or yesterday, or tomorrow is any different than any other day. They are all the same. A day without my mother in my life. But, they are milestones, in the sense that it has been exactly a year. So, emotionally, I’m trying to hang on. Trying to process all of it. To deal with it.
Yet, the bottom line is …. I just haven’t had the time to do it today. I know you can work and still think, still reflect …still grieve. But today has been so overwhelming with what has to be done, and in just way order I need to do everything in order to get it all done, that there hasn’t been room left in my brain to have the luxury of taking out the memories of those last moments with her. I’ve just tried to stay one step ahead of trying to get everything done.
THE CHURCH: The normal everyday Monday things … recording attendance. Calendar and devotion time with Gordon. Phone Calls. But, because I’m not going to work tomorrow — I’m taking a “play day” and going to KC and spending the day with my wonderful and bestest friend, Ruth — I needed to get the newsletter done, so it could be proofread, so I could mail it out when I come back to work Wednesday. That right now, would and could take my whole morning. However….on my plate of things to do as well was: doing a mailing to the area churches, and to the Jr. High and Sr. High youth of the New Year’s Eve Lock-in. (50 flyers). A mailing for the capital compaign (250 letters). Getting the newsletter to the point of proofreading.
I got everything but the capital compaign mailing doing, because Gordon wanted his wife to proofread the letter, and she didnt’ get off work until 2:00. Plus, he needed to handsign all the letters, and he wanted to run the envelopes through the printer rather than print out labels and slap them on the envelope.
So….
At 1:00, I left there ….went to the bank, went to the hospital for lab work. Went over to my aunt Jo’s to find her medicine that she couldn’t find that she knew she took to Florida — so now she wants me to overnight her some more. Get it ready, and mail it. Go to the post office. Go home and get cell phone. By this time, its a bit before 2:00. I needed to be “at work” — out at David’s office.
Worked 2 hours out there …. came back in, and went back to work at the church. Gordon had gotten some of the envelopes printed, but not all of them. So, while he signed letters, I printed evelopes. I didn’t get them done either, but I had to leave at 5:00 to go pick Ethan up from school and take him home. Did that, went back and worked until 6:30. He had a program at school. Attended that from 7:00 - 8:30. Ate supper.
And here I am. Almost midnight. The letters still aren’t done. What I had, I have stuffed in envelopes, sealed and stamped. But the saved copy on the disk isn’t compatible with any programs we have here at home. So…. Gordon will have to finish them up for me tomorrow. I feel really bad, but I have done all I can do. I have more than made up my hours that I will be missing tomorrow.
It has been non stop today. And tomorrow promises to be equally busy — only in a different way. I can hardly wait. I alway enjoy our time together, and I know tomorrow won’t be any different.
But first… I have to get Ethan off to school. Mail these letters. Stop by the church and let Gordon know where I left off, and see if he can finish them up. And then…maybe then…. I can leave town and spend a nice enjoyable day with my friend.
Thats the plan.
But now…the plan is to got to bed. It has been A DAY!
Blessings to all…
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