Posted by Prairierose on Mar 31, 2006
We will be leaving shortly to go to Topeka. My aunt has decided to go with Dialysis — and they will be transportating her to another hospital. She didn’t say it in so many words, but I know she doesn’t want to go through this alone. They are telling her that this might just “jumpstart” her kidneys to working again — that she might not need to be on it for the rest of her life. I know this is a difficult situation for her, and I don’t know the right words to tell her, or to advise her. All I can do is to be there for her.
And pray.
And ask for prayers.
Thank you.
Posted by Prairierose on Mar 30, 2006
13 Things about Carolyn
This & That
1. I am a list maker. Translation. I have to write it down so I don’t forget. I had a list made with a theme for this week’s TT. I also had a list made of things I wanted/needed to blog about. I’m putting this week’s theme on hold until a later date, and use that list of things I needed/wanted to blog about.
2. According to weather reports, we are in for some rough weather today. This is Kansas. Anything could happen.
3. My aunt is in the hospital (again). I say again, because she usually goes 6 weeks…maybe 2 months between visits. Right now, she is retaining fluid (lots) and 140 mg of Lasics twice a day is not taking it off. Two nights ago, she gained 2 lbs. Yestereday, she stayed the same. With that much Lasics, she should be dropping major numbers, because she had gained major numbers in the last couple of weeks, and its nothing more than fluid. Her doctor is talking dialysis –which puts “us” into a bit of a dilemma. But. I’ve “been here and done this before”. She has this Living Will wrote up, and it stipulates exactly what she does NOT want done to her to keep her alive. Dialysis is on that list. But, the way the doctor is talking, if the medicines aren’t doing any good, its that, or death. A couple of years ago, she wanted me to be a part of the decision making process, and it was the same kind of deal. It wasn’t something she wanted done, but …. So, I’m not sure what she will do here. Prayers needed!
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Posted by Prairierose on Mar 29, 2006
There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!
When the door of happiness closes, another opens; but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don’t see the one, which has been opened for us.
Don’t go for looks; they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.
Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes their way.
The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you’re the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
If you don’t send it, don’t worry, nothing bad will happen to you; you will just miss out on the opportunity to brighten someone’s day with this message!!!
Don’t count the years - count the memories………..
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; but by the moments that take our breath away!
Posted by Prairierose on Mar 28, 2006
A Garden Party
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is — his good, pleaseing and perfect will. — Romans 12:2 NIV
Growing by Heart describes our soul as a garden. When given proper care, a garden thrives. It is a thing of beauty, something to be enjoyed, something to be shared. It reflects love. Celebration. A garden party. However, what does a garden look like when neglected. Its overgrown by weeds, someplace or something you would just as soon not be around. You definately would not want to have a party there.
What does my soul look like? Its dry and suffering from neglect. I feel useless, to myself and to others around me. Yes, I’m there everyday. I haven’t resorted to hiding myself away from everything and everyone. I put my hours in, whether its a work, home, or play. But I feel like a shell of a person. Weary from years of physical, emotional and spiritual neglect.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world. I would argue that I don’t conform to this world. I don’t compete with the Jones’. I don’t emulate the fashion world. Ok, I do pounce on “blog tends” I guess. But, I think what the Scripture is saying is something my Father-in-law used to say, and not in a very Biblical way. Where his employees were concerned, you were either “for” him or “against” him. There was no middle ground. I believe that God expects the same thing. Its either the world’s way, or His way. And the “world” is anything that does not bring honor to Him. Living in my “I want to do it my way” little world just makes Him shake his head in sadness and disappointment. However, He is a loving and forgiving God, and its just a matter of turning my life, my problems, myself over to him.
Renewing of my mind — studying the Scripture, beginning this memorization of the Scripture procress — spending more time “one on one” with Him, instead of allowing my blog, or other aspects of my life become an “idol” — that would be pleasing to Him. A garden party with God. I find comfort and hope in that.
Blessings to all
Posted by Prairierose on Mar 27, 2006
Wanting to follow in his mom’s footsteps, we are going to try the blogging thing again. Ethan has so much going on in his life, so much he could write about … we found a layout that he liked yesterday, and he wants to try his hand at blogging again.
Does THIS look like the blog of a 15 year old boy? The stero-type in me says it should be dark and menacing. But … my son tends to march to the beat of his own drummer, and when he saw this kitten, he says “thats the one, Mom”. Works for me:)
Anyway… if you all would take just a minute to go read what he has to say, and maybe even leave a comment or two …. and maybe even link him … he LOVES comments, and if he knew he had a readership, I know he would probably write more (don’t we all?).
Anyway. Shameless plug for the kid. http://joyofsinging.blogspot.com/
Oh…and just in case you are wondering? the PIT? (his “blog” name) ….Preacher In Training
Posted by Prairierose on Mar 27, 2006
Being stuck is setting goals but putting off doing anything to make them a reality.
Being stuck is wanting everything to be perfect before taking a step.
Being stuck is making promises to yourself, to God, or someone else and not keeping it.
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Posted by Prairierose on Mar 25, 2006
Thursday we went to Topeka to pick up Ethan’s tux for the Barbershop show next month. We also needed communion bread for the church, and I wanted to pick up some special Easter bulletins (I normally use colored paper and clip art for the weekly bulletin front cover). So, a stop at the Christian Book store was in order as well. I had been planning this, and had been hanging on to some extra money, just for this occasion
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Posted by Prairierose on Mar 24, 2006
Be very very afraid. My “baby” has now joined the ranks of millions and millions of drivers. He has his restricted license.
Now the fun begins.
Driving is a priviledge. Not a right. I think I am going to have that tatooed on my forehead, so he can see it when I won’t always let him drive. Its going to be a fine line of “when and where”, I have a feeling. He has signed up for driver’s ed this summer … but in the meantime, he is supposed to log 25 before he even gets to class.
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Posted by Prairierose on Mar 23, 2006
13 Things about Carolyn
Hobbies & Interests
1. Crocheting. I have just recently picked up the hook and started crocheting again. I used to make afgans … or at least start them, and then lose interest before completing, and then my mom would usually finish them up for me. But I’m on a “mission” now, with goals in sight, and it spurs me on. I am making “Prayer Shawls“. I’m still on my 1st one, but I’ve got 50 of the 60 inches done. So, I should be attaching the fringe this weekend and then see where we are at with need at W@H. If there is no one at the list there, then I have a list of my own of people I have prayed about, prayed for as I crocheted away. My aunt is on this list, but this one isn’t for her. This one was kinda “opened ended” to who it would go to. When I make hers, it will be specifically FOR her. And I honestly think it will be a good experience. Just praying in general for her, for our relationship. But, the thought also occurs to me that everything she pushes my buttons, pick up the hook and take my frustrations out constructively by working and praying on her shawl. Between work and other life activities, its taken me about 2 weeks to do this shawl. That is a workable time frame for me. If it took me a couple months just to complete one, I could see myself giving up in a “whats the use” attitude. But 2 weeks is doable. I have really enjoyed making this one and am looking forward to making more.
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Posted by Prairierose on Mar 22, 2006
Amongst the anxiety and stress I am feeling with things going on in my life right now, this theme just spoke to me. I feel a sense of peace and calm when I look at it. I know I don’t have to justify anything to anyone, but the theme Leanne did for me is still loaded in the theme switcher. It hasn’t gone by the way side, and I will bring it back as the default “look” from time to time. But for right now, I’m caving. This is who I am. Constantly changing. Creating. Take me. Or Leave me. I NEED to find some calm and contentment in my life right now. This is just one of those things.
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Posted by Prairierose on Mar 21, 2006
When Ethan first told me, I was livid. My aunt has made a few comments/remarks to me over the years, about my mom. And I have had to bite my tongue and just go on. This weekend was another one of those times. Although, out of this one, I have found peace, and a message, you might say.
When my aunt was throwing her little fit when I had told her “no” to taking her out last week because her blood sugar level was too low … one of the remarks she made to Ethan was “She is turning into her mom. Dropping me off here and then not doing anything for me”. OR — something to that effect. When he told me this — I was mad, all over again.
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Posted by Prairierose on Mar 21, 2006
I wish (being able to get away). No, the time seems to be getting away from me again. These past few days, seem to have been centered around work and other comittments. I don’t like it when I feel overwhelmed like this. But, I have faith that it will smooth back out and be life as normal again … soon. In the meantime, I am going to try and catch back up here. I have several entries titled, so I wouldn’t forget, and will get to them as well. I suppose I could make this one L - O - N - G post, but I think it will probably be long enough as it is; so will just do those other entries, as I can, and just do them seperately. If for no other reason, then I can “click” them into the “right” category of the archives.
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Posted by Prairierose on Mar 21, 2006
I haven’t faded away. Just overwhelmed with some time/work issues; and just some life stuff in general.
– Recap of weekend and yesterday entry will be posted before nightfall.
– Memory Monday almost done.
– Tasty Tuesday on the back burner, but have a subject in mind.
Posted by Prairierose on Mar 20, 2006
Due to time factors and work schedules, I wasn’t going to do an Monday Memory today. But. I received an email today from my aunt and uncle — the snow storm that was hitting them on this particular day brought back memories, and so they shared the memory with us (they have a “family” mailing list), complete with pictures. I don’t remember this storm because I hadn’t been born yet. But I do remember stories, and I do have lots of my own memories of my grandma and grandpa (pictured below). So, today, I share — their — story.
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Posted by Prairierose on Mar 20, 2006
March Lesson: Due March 22
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10:38-42
Mary and Martha are sisters that both loved and worshipped Jesus. When they found out that he was in town they both must have been very excited to have this man that had been preaching all over the countryside here in their presence. Yet, their priorities were very different. Martha wanted Jesus to be comfortable and well fed. Mary wanted to do nothing but sit at Jesus’ feet and listen to anything he had to say. Both qualities were of value, yet one was ‘better’ than the other.
Where do you find yourself? Do you feel that you identify more with Mary of more with Martha?
I myself, find that I am much more of a ‘Martha.’ If we all had the heart of Mary, and even of King David we would be so much better off. I used to be a Martha — always being in the middle of things that needed to be done, even though it meant missing hearing God’s word. I had the disease to please, and said not only said “yes” whenever asked to help with something, but very often was in the instigator of starting new projects and missions. At some point, it got to be too much. Granted, I went to the other extreme, and pulled away from most all of it. But now, I am where I need to be, and I’m not involved in every single ministry the church has to offer. I can stop and listen when God is speaking to me; and I do things that are needed at other times.
“My sould finds rest in God alone;
My salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.”
Psalm 62:1-2
Later we find yet again another instance where Mary shows great devotion to the Lord. Read John 12:1-8. Jesus says very prophetic words ~ “You will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me.” Whether poor financially or poor in spirit, it does not matter. There will always be poor people among us. We must be determined to want to change the world for Jesus’ sake.
Let Your Light Shine
No one lights a lamp and puts it in a place where it will be hidden, or under a bowel. Instead he puts it on its stand that those who come in may see the light.
Luke 11:33
How crazy is that for Mary to spend a years wages on the Lord??? Today that would be about $40,000 to $60,000 a person. Could you imagine? Again, Mary just demonstrates to us how much we need to value a relationship with God.
In your life, what are some things that you think are important in your worship of God? Is it serving others? Making a perfect home? Striving for perfection?
While these things are good, they are not the ‘better’ things. Do not sacrafice your times with God while searching for fulfillment in these other areas. Mark 12:33. Its taken me years, but I have learned that its not “the work” but the time spent with God that is important. Yes, I still strive to serve, to make things better, but more importantly, I strive to find time for God every day. Once I have that, fullfillment falls into place in other areas.
Excercise in Prayer
Write a simple prayer, focusing on deepening your relationship with God and on making wise decisions throughout each day ~ choosing the ‘better’ things in life.Father, I thank you for your many blessings and the ways you show me you love me each and every day. I am learning to lean on you, more and more; and sometimes I struggle with that, and I fail. But I know you love me and that are a patient and loving God. Search my heart, and show me the way. Spending time with you is where my focus should be. I love you, Father.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Posted by Prairierose on Mar 18, 2006
Make your own Magazine cover here
Posted by Prairierose on Mar 18, 2006
A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved. Read this, it could save your life!!
Let’s say it’s 6:15 p.m. and you’re driving home (alone, of course) after an unusually hard day on the job. You’re really tired, upset and frustrated. Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to radiate out into your arm and up into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately, you don’t know if you’ll be able to make it that far. You have been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself.
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Posted by Prairierose on Mar 17, 2006
You’re 10% Irish
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You’re not Irish. Not even a wee bit.
Not even on St. Patrick’s Day!
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Your Irish Name Is…
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Saoirse Sheehan
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Posted by Prairierose on Mar 16, 2006
13 things to do when my aunt pushes my buttons.
(*see previous entry)
1. Pray about it
2. Blog about it — to vent unheard by her ears, so less damage is done.
3. Do a Thursday 13 early to take my mind off of it
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Posted by Prairierose on Mar 15, 2006
Where do I go to resign? At one time, I knew of a few family members that read my blog, and maybe I would be careful to what I am about to say. Or. Maybe not. Maybe those same family members do still follow along. And, I’m really to the point, I’m not going to pick my words careful, and paint this pretty picture of how it is here. I don’t know. These are things that need to be said. That this is NOT the “picture perfect” dutiful little niece, taking care of family, and they *swoon, *big sigh, dont’ know what they would do without me.
I am just as selfish and self centered as my aunt is, and that IS NOT a good mixture. Esp. when it comes to a head, and neither one of us are willing to back down.
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Posted by Prairierose on Mar 14, 2006
Sunday was the official ground breaking for our new church — although, they actually began dirt work on February 27. Its really exciting to watch it progress, and know that, if all goes according to plan, we will be in our new building by September. Its been a long time coming, not without its problems and doubts. But its actually a reality now, and God has blessed us with the endeavor.
Posted by Prairierose on Mar 14, 2006
I don’t know if Lazy Daisy intended Tasty Tuesday to be a weekly thing; but this came in the church’s email last week, and so I copied it here and dated it for today for a “Tasty Tuesday” entry. I have read this before, but it always hits home and reminds me that I DO have choices.
***********************************
John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and
always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was
doing, he would reply, “If I were any better, I would be twins!”
He was a natural motivator.
If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how
to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked
him, “I don’t get it!
You can’t be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?”
He replied, “Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices
today. You can choose to be in a good mood or .. you can choose to be in a
bad mood.
I choose to be in a good mood.”
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or…I can
choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their
complaining or… I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the
positive side of life.
“Yeah, right, it’s not that easy,” I protested.
“Yes, it is,” he said. “Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the
junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations.
You choose how people affect your mood.
You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It’s your
choice how you live your life.”
I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to
start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I
made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident,
falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.
After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from
the hospital with rods placed in his back.
I saw him about six months after the accident.
When I asked him how he was, he replied, “If I were any better, I’d be
twins. Wanna see my scars?”
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his
mind as the accident took place.
“The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my
soon-to-be born daughter,” he replied. “Then, as I lay on the ground, I
remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or…I could
choose to die. I chose to live.”
“Weren’t you scared? Did you lose consciousness?” I asked.
He continued, “..the paramedics were great.
They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into
the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I
got really scared. In their eyes, I read ‘he’s a dead man’. I knew I needed
to take action.”
“What did you do?” I asked.
“Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,” said John.
“She asked if I was allergic to anything. ‘Yes, I replied.’ The doctors and
nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and
yelled, ‘Gravity’.”
Over their laughter, I told them, “I am choosing to live. Operate on me as
if I am alive, not dead.”
He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his
amazing attitude… I learned from him that every day we have the choice to
live fully.
Attitude, after all, is everything.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.
Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34.
After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
You have two choices now:
1. Delete this.
2. Forward it to the people you care about.
You know the choice I made.
Posted by Prairierose on Mar 11, 2006
I love my aunt. But. She exasperates me. She EXHAUSTS me. I know its not her fault; and we truly did enjoy the evening. But.
For starters, I didn’t feel good. My heart was doing its flip-flop thing most of the day, that “anxious” feeling. And not being able to see clearly with the new glasses, just annoyed me to know it. So. I wasn’t in the bestest of moods anyway.
We had this evening planned for awhile. Her friend from Florida had sent her money to go out and eat steak for her birthday — and she sent enough to include me, David and Ethan. My aunt was thinking Emporia or Topeka, but I suggested the little cafe we went to a couple weeks ago for Debbie’s birthday celebration. The steaks were huge, and marinated to perfection. So that was the plan. We picked her up at 6:00 — and met David over there.
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Posted by Prairierose on Mar 11, 2006
We got a letter from the school not too long ago — about Driver’s Ed. It was just an informative letter, wanting us to sign our “young adult” up for Driver’s Ed this summer, plus to let us know there was a mandatory meeting next month we need to attend (well, duh…isn’t that what “mandatory” means?:) At any rate — Ethan now is “at that age”. We were instructed that if he doesn’t have his Learner’s Permit yet, to go get it now.
Which, made me have to back down to something I have actually stood firm on. I told Ethan he couldn’t get his Permit until he made the honor roll. And as of yet….
However, I really do want him to take Driver’s Ed. And there can still be rules and restriction beyond what the law says to when he can and can’t drive.
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Posted by Prairierose on Mar 10, 2006
Although, I’m not 100% I will ever adjust to them. We went to Emporia after work so the Optomistrist could cut the lenses for my frames. I didn’t get new frames, and I couldn’t go without them, so they couldn’t be “sent off” and we could do this all locally. We had to go to their main office in Emporia and let them do it right there while we waited.
Now granted, my eye doctor told me the amount of change in the one lense would probably take some getting used to. But. I think what I have figured out is that the bifocal isn’t in the right place. I had bifocals in the old pair, and everyone told me it would take some getting used to. I never had one ounce of problems.
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