A Prairie View

:: Weekend Musings :: Halloween

I have found a couple of new memes to play along with. There doesn’t seem to be many for the weekend, which is when I have the most time. I scanned through some previous weeks of this one and it seemed pretty tame, and pretty consistent, so think I might try and make this a weekly thing here.

1. Do you decorate for Halloween? If so, what do you do? No.

2. Are you planning on going out on Halloween or stay at home and pass out the goodies?I always stay home and pass out the goodies.

3. Do you dress up in a Halloween costume? If so, what are you dressing up in this year? Nope.

4. What sort of goodies do you get to pass out?Usually candy bars or easy chewing candy of some kind. My grandson always comes to trick (’course, I say treat) ole’ grandma here. He is such a cutie — with or without a costume!

5. How many Trick or Treater’s do you generally get at your house? Usually a couple of dozen. Its a small town, and alot depends on the weather, and also what Ethan might have going on that evening as well. This year, he will be doing something with the drama club called “Trick or Treat so children can eat”. I’m not sure of the details, but I do know its a “good thing” that they will be doing.

This list of questions caught my eye because this is one holiday I am struggling with. I grew up, as many of us did, doing the “trick or treat” thing. I have a lot of good memories of the costumes and the school parades, and the houses I would visit. So, as an adult, even as a Christian one, it never really occured to me that the activity of “trick or treating” was a bad thing. A youth minister we had introduced “Fall Festival” to our church, allowing the kids to come in costume, but they couldn’t be scary and “devil-ish” — and encourage Biblical characters.

There are alot of cute websets, photo stock, and graphics out there, that are “Halloween”. I think they are very cute, and would love to use them. I even decorated my page here, for a few hours, with a cute little girl, dressed as a witch for Halloween. But, I decided against it. I’m not sure enough in my Bible knowledge to know if displaying those kinds of things would be a slap in the face for the Christian feel I try to give my blog.

I know this is something I should know, but I just don’t know the full history of Halloween, and am I giving Satan the glory here by decorating for Halloween? I think of all the years I trick or treated as a child. The years my children did it — even our minister has their light on and pass out candy. So, where is the line? Not at all? or, the activity of our children trick or treating is OK. We arent’ truly worshiping Satan by doing it. Its a lifelong tradition many of us do. But. Is it right?

Care to give me some gentle feed back on this? I really would appreciate it.

Doin’ the Happy Dance

Ok, well, not literally, But, in my mind, I am doin’ the Happy Dance. I cannot believe yesterday’s weigh in. As I said earlier, I just wasn’t “feeling it”. So, I was hoping at best a “stay the same”. I stuck to the plan and did well in that aspect, but..well, I dont’ know. I just. wasn’t. feeling. it.

So much for “feelings”. 7 lbs I lost this week. Whoohooo! That makes a grand total of 24. And I am phyche to continue doing what I’m doing. Having to do that 8 oz of “real food” protein is really helping. I’m not totally deprived of eating “real food”, and yet, I am able to do it in such a way that the weight is coming off, and I’m not starving to do it. And, I’m getting healthier as well as thinner. (I know, I know, I have zillions of miles to go before I’ll ever be thin. But, I have noticed in some areas, I am feeling better. The steps are getting a bit easier. Shopping — I can go for longer periods of time now. Not long periods of time, but longer than what I could, which just about nile. Baby steps, it’ll get better. And I am going to ask about incorporating some exercise into my days when I go next week.

Oh! Oh! OH! thats the other piece of good news. When she took my pulse yesterday — it was nice and steady. My heart is back in rhythm. Whoo hoo! Can you tell I was bouncing off the wall yesterday.

I just didn’t have a chance to get in here last night. Before leaving town, Ethan wanted McDonalds … and by using their Dollar menu, he can get supper pretty cheap. But, as we were driving through, I was hungry too….and sitting next to him, eating a hamburger and McDonald’s french fries … I just didnt’ want to subject myself to that. So, before placing his order, I threw out a suggestion… lets just wait and eat in “our” town. He was all for that, so we just ordered a drink and were on our way. I called David to see what he ended up do for supper. He had a couple of options. He stopped by his mom and dad’s, and just never got away. He said they were going to the Mexican food place. I asked him if they would wait for us (its an hour home) … but, it was also 7:00. So, I could understand why they didn’t really want to. He told me to call when we go closer, and he’d go ahead and order for us, and HE would wait for us, even if his mom and dad didn’t.

Thats what we did … and it was really nice. We walk in, sit down, and was served our food right away. And they were all still eating too, so it worked out all the way around. I had my wonderful shrimp salad, and was happy.

When we got home, one of David’s drivers was having truck trouble, and David needed the computer to look up some repair shops for him. I never did get on the computer. Whenthe news came on — thats usually when I get on the computer, I was ready to go to bed.

I had to do a ProTime check, so didn’t time to get on the computer this morning. *Sigh. But, I do have an hour — a whole hour — all to myself here a lunch time. My new work schedule starts next week. I need to decide how I am going to do my lunch hours, between the 2 jobs. Go home, and have a bit of down time just for me. Or go ahead and go out there, eat my lunch, and play on the computer, until 1:00. That way I know I am always there at 1:00 - on time. I’ll decide Monday which way I’ll do it:)

Can’t believe the weekend is here already. Or OCTOBER. Its flying by. I have some “goals” set that I would like to meet by the first of the year. So, in that respect, I don’t mind the days flying by.

Blessings to all.

The Days Ahead

Structure Goals
I can’t help but feel that somehow God layed it upon Bev and Barb’s hearts to write their current entries. And that I was to read them. As each day goes by, bringing me closer to the new work schedule, the new shift in our lives … a nugging of “oh my goodness, how am I going to be able to get it all done” keeps at me. And yet, as I take inventory of esp. time wasted … I can’t help but think…. structure. Planned out — followed through — structure. A set time for daily devotion/Bible Study. A time for family. A time for the house (with help, moreso that what has currently been happening…esp. if a certain someone is wanting to drive … on his own … these days). A time for blogging. A time for emailing friends. A time for reading/commenting at friend’s blogs. I know, I know, it sounds like a lot … and yet. So much of my day seems to be wasted — just being at the computer. With no set direction, just whatever flits through my mind at the time. Clicking link after link. I need to take my blogging in a different level. I know this is my comfort zone. But, its time I move out of that comfort zone and just allow it to be a small part of a well-planned day.

Sounds good. But can I do it? I’m going to have to try. I can “have it all” if I try. If I don’t try, then the blogging needs to be the first thing to go. And, for all my resolve and good intentions … I really dont’ want to do that. Its just a matter of finding balance. I’m making moves in the right direction with other things…and being successful in them. This has been a long time coming. I need to make a move here. And it doesn’t have to mean taking a break or going away. It just means … finding some balance.

And If This Wasn’t Enough
With some of the cobwebs cleared away, and just a bit of energy restored, the mind is spinning. I have a couple of memberships to some wonderful graphic artists. And something they have amongst everything else is “PSP tubes”. Know — I know “PSP” is Paint Shop Pro. But, the meaning of “tubes” has eluded me; and when I have right clicked on what they offer as tubes, there is a white background, and so that tells me they aren’t ready to use kind of graphics. So, I asked one of the ladies recently just exactly what a “tube” was and what did yo do with it. And she explained it to me — but it definately is a Paint Shop Pro thing. Which I have. So, as if everything else I have on my plate to do isn’t enough …. I really want to get into PSP and follow her directions and just see what this is all about. I love graphics (well, no duh…what was your first clue here). Just the few memberships I do have that have these tubes, there are several hundred if not more, graphics to look at. I really think this is something I would enjoy if I understood just how it worked. And I’m “ready to learn”. I looovveee learning and mastering new things. There was a time, I actually “hot linked” things because I just didn’t know any better … now I know. Didn’t know how to make web pages, or make my pages look pretty. I want to learn. I want to figure this out. I want to learn how to make blinkies. And to figure out this stupid smilie plugin program. It really shouldn’t be that difficult. I’ll bet I’m on the right track, that I’m just doing one little variable wrong. But I want to figure it out!!!!

And I want to go play with my grandson at the park. And take pictures. And be a friend to his mom. And a better friend to a special someone in Kansas City.

And I want my house to get better organized — and maybe my blog a little less organized.

I want Ethan to do go in school. And to get his play lines learned.

And I want to lose more weight, and be successful … very successful … at this weight loss venture I’m on.

I want to be a good Child of God. And a good wife to David.

I want … I want… I want….

Its now time to take action, and make it happen. It is. Slowly. But. It is.

Oops
I messed up. When you make your appointments at my diet place, you can do it 3, 4, 5 appointments ahead if you want — therefore, sometimes being able to get what works for your schedule. When I first started, I set them up a few weeks ahead. But then someone from there, called me back, they needed to reschedule because I’m still under “medical” care, so there are certain people you have to see. So, we switched them around, and that was that.

Last week, when I was there, and knowing my work schedule had changed, that also changed future appointments. I was trying to work towards where I could have my appointments on Monday mornings — but because I orginally started with them on a Thursday, we were just slowly working towards Monday. At any rate, we made my appointments through the end of October — I think one of them even went into November.

They are on Wednesday nights (except for one, because I need lab work … and we made it for 7:30 AM, but on a Wednesday. I remember saying “OK, so all my appointments are on Wednesday”, and she agreed.

And she was right. For all the ones SHE made. That didn’t include this weeks because it was already made.

For today. I just realized that. Today. Tuesday. NOT Wednesday. Way to go. I can be such a dunce sometimes. I called them, and they can get me in at 4:00 Thursday. Not real convenient. But I”m not going to argue. I’m the one who messed this up. Not intentionally. i’m a little nervous about going … Again, I’m not “feeling it” — that I’ve lost. But part of it is … well…. never mind. TMI. But it is something I want to talk to them about. And if I did gain, or didn’t lose, I’m still going to be ok with it because of the “circumstances”, and they can give me suggestions of what I’m doing wrong. I’ve eaten like I’m supposed to, but I’m thinking I’m not getting enough water. I don’t know. I have been know to call and cancel or reschedule appointments, because I knew I hadn’t done what I was supposed to and I didn’t want to show a gain. But this truly was NOT one of those times. We have parent-teacher conferences tomorrow afternoon/evening. And we had talked about how we could make it work and still do both. I honestly thought my appointment was Wednesday.

What made me look though, to “double check” — was …. “26″ kept sticking in my head. And, thinking about the bulletins I did for Sunday, I knew Sunday was the 24th. And today is Tuesday, so today is the 26th. But. Wenesday. All my appointments are Wednesday. So, I didn’t check … soon enough. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

No. What would have been stupid is — if I HADN’T double checked just a bit ago — and we drove all the way up there TOMORROW, only to find out I have no appointment. I have GOT to get better organized!

Pass The Torch Tuesday

Kelly believes in our youth and has started a new meme called “Pass the Torch”. The guidelines are simple: Catch ‘em being good — write about a kid/young person you witness doing something right (or smart, or helpful or responsible, etc.) Let me share with you, one time I caught Ethan “being good.

I was reading through some of my archives, and when I read this one, I thought it would be a good “Pass the Torch” entry. So, even though this was written almost a year ago, it still applies to life today….

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After harvest and the hundreds of invoices it generated those few weeks, this Monday was a piece of cake doing the billing. For starters, we are back to normal loads — long haul, so instead of a few hundred “local” loads, the drivers are back to going to Texas and Oklahoma, and there are only 50 or so loads to bill. Plus, most of the drivers only drove 3 days last week. So. Piece of cake. I was even able to get some other things done while there, and that was nice in itself as well.

Just wish I could say yesterday was “a piece of cake”.

It. Wasn’t.

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Monday Meanderings

On The Homefront
Busy week ahead; but if I structure thing right, I should be able to get everything done this week that I need/want to get done. And, it will get me in practice for the upcoming week. I’m doing something that I haven’t done for a couple of years, but, in light of the added expense I have decided to incur, this seemed like a good solution, and everyone involved was on board with it.

Staring October 1, I will be working “full time” again, instead of semi-part time. From 1982 until 2000, I worked full time. And then after the place that I had worked for for 18 years closed its doors … I drew unemployment for a few months (breaking my arm in the process, so it was more a time of recovering than “time off”. But it was time for me to “get back out there” — and 2 part-time job opportunities became available, and I applied for both, praying that one would hire me.

You know that old adage about being careful for what you pray for? They hired me… both of them. But, it all worked out. They were both part-time…4 hours a day, 5 days a week. So, I worked at one in the morning, and the other in the afternoon. At one point though, one of the places needed to downsize, and they let the parttimers go first. So, I then worked at the church parttime … until a year ago or so … David was needing help at his office with all the paperwork that goes along with having 11 drivers. So, it was back to 2 parttime jobs.

However … I didn’t have set hours with David’s office. There was certain things that needed to be done, and I made sure they got done. Sometimes I worked 7 hours a week, sometimes it would be 15 hours a week. But, there are lots of other things that I could be doing, and maybe there are some things that the boss’s wife is doing that I could do eventually. Thats the plan. Because my “7 or so” hours just went to 20 hours a week. Set hours. Church office from 8:00 - noon. Trucking business from 1:00 - 5:00. 5 days a week. My weight-loss apointments are at 6:00 in the evening, and its an hour drive, so I shouldn’t have to miss work to go to them. It SHOULD all work out, and the extra money will help “with the cause” — and I’ll continue to lose weight and get healthier. Just the few pounds I’ve lost so far have helped clear some of the cobwebs, and give me a tad bit more energy — to even consider taking on an endeavor like that.

Taking Control
I was worried about what I was going to do when “life went on” and all the times we would eat out. It isn’t always “us” that prods us into eating out. OUR times of eating out “just because” have decreased dramatically. I don’t think we’ve eaten out on our own since I started “the plan”.

However… that hasn’t stopped family from wanting us to join them. We had eaten with my ex-duaghter-in-law a couple of weeks ago, and my aunt got wind of it, after the fact, and she “didn’t want to miss out” because she had heard we were going to the Mexican food place. I wasn’t going to go 2 nights in a row, so I gently told her no, what she heard was old news … what she had heard about was the LAST time we took HER out. But, I told her maybe we would go “next Friday” …. which was last Friday. THAT was the plan.

However…. last THURSDAY, David calls. His mom wanted to know if we wanted to go eat with them, and he told her yes. He forget we were going to go Friday night. But, what we ended up doing was — we went up o the nursing home and asked my aunt if she’d rather go Thursday night instead of Friday night. That way, I could kill 2 birds with one stone. She was ok with it — although, in a teasing voice, when she was getting in our Explorer, Ethan said something about “Grandma and Grandpa going” … and she said “What if I don’t want them to go?” …. I TEASINGLY told her that if that was the case, then SHE wasn’t going, and we WEREN’T going Friday night. Needless to say, it was ‘OK” for “grandma and grandpa” to go.

So, I dodged that bullet…not eating there 2 nights in a row (and when we did eat there….shrimp salad…..and salsa…no chips…. and no, I didn’t put salsa on my salad. I just ate in in tiny spoonfuls) Saturday night rolls around, and “Grandma and grandpa” want to know if we want to go out to eat again. I told David he and Ethan could go, but I already had my meal going (which, I did… sorta. I had shrimp soaking in spicy water). So, thats what they did. I have to say…there are things I have messed up with on this plan (I’m going to blog about it sometime … over there…), but there are some things I have done really good with. So, I’m not going to beat myself up about it. I’m taking control, and it feels good.

Being Alarmed
See the little mood thing below the date and comment area (look up at the top of this entry, if you missed it). Actually, it should say “annoyed” or “frusrated” … because I’m still trying to figure this “mood” plugin out. But thats a whole other entry. I was “alarmed” because … I worked all day. Ethan had called to say he rode the bus home. When I was head home, around 5:30 …. I called him. No answer. His cell phone, the house phone. I get home…. no sign of him, and his cell phone is on the desk. There is a girl down the street a year older than him, and he’s been going down there alot lately, so I just assumed that was where he was, and when it got closer to 6:30, that he would come home.

6:30 comes. No Ethan. So then, I’m thinking, OK, fine, if he’s late for Scholar’s Bowl tonight, this is HIS problem. But then, 6:45 rolled around, and I’m starting to get a little (ok, alot) concerned. I walk the yard. I look down the street. I come back in to make some phone calls. And then I see his shoes. So….that tells me…he’s still here. But where? It finally dawned on me where he was. And don’t laugh …. I remember getting grounded AND spanked for doing the exact same thing. He was IN. HIS. ROOM. Asleep. He NEVER goes in his room. If he wants to take a nap after school, he goes in our room. Or snoozes in the recliner. NEVER ever his room. But, thats where he was at. Safe and sound.

I did the same thing to my mom. I had a paper route. I did my route … came home, went to my room, and took a nap. She didn’t realize I was home, and all she knew was … I wasn’t home yet. After driving the neighborhood, calling, etc….. she thinks to look in my room (which was upstairs and away from the main flow of traffic in our house). I was sooo in trouble for not letting her know I was home. Talk about things coming around full circle.

I had a few other things I wanted to do with this entry, but I think I’ve blabbed on long enough. I’ll save them for another time….

Blessings to all.

Fall Into Reading

Katrina at Callapidder Days loves to read and is challenging us to set some reading goals this fall. We need to make a list of books that we would like to read (or finish) during the next few months. Its a joint venture. She is putting up a Mister Linkie, so we can track other readers who are doing the challenge as well. Go here to get more details. Go here to leave your name if you are up to the challenge.

I’m taking the challenge. Here is my list (and then I’ve added the list to my side bar, and I’m going to cross them off as I get them done). I love to read, so I could list book after book after book that I would just love to sit down and read. But, I decided to make this a bit more of a “challenge”. I have a few books that I am going to read just for the sheer pleasure of it. But. I also have mountains of books that are “work-through” kind of books, workbooks, if you will. So, I have chosen a few of those, balancing my life out, with my physical health, my spiritual health — I’m going though a Bible Study with a group of ladies — that involves a book. We may not be through it before this challenge is over, but my goal is to stick with it, each week, and get as far as the group does. Very often, I join these Bible Studies, and before I know it, most ladies are chapters or lessons ahead of me.

So, this is why my list is on the short side. There will be more than reading involved. I really have my work cut out for me, but they are things I have wanted to do. They involve reading the book all the way through … there are just questions and journaling and pondering to do as I go. A true challenge!

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The Banner

Changing “the look” is a vice. A crutch. A way of soothing the soul for me sometimes. I have lots of underlying problems that I’m not real sure just why I do them. I just do. Yesterday was an frustrating today for me, and I found myself wanting … needing… to make a change here. Fortunately, the layout still really works for me. So, it was just a matter of changing the banner. And, I have several really pretty autumn picks, like the above, stucked away in a file folder called “Autumn”. Maybe I need to find the script that I used a loonnnngggg time ago, where you load 5 or 6 banners, and it rotates them. At any rate, it didn’t take me long to decide this was the one. Bev listed 13 scriptures last week, and they have been a huge source of help as well as other things to me. So, I quickly throw this banner together, the scripture seemed to fit. And all was well in my world.

I never realized just how instrumental the change of the banner would be. Its been ONE of those mornings. And I can’t help but think….”its all in the attitude”. Don’t let today get to me. And I’m not. I’m still in a fairly good mood. Its dark and dreary out. Ethan finally went back to school …. 1st day this week. But. He missed the bus, and that threw my schedule off … but it still worked. I got him to school on time. Stopped for my morning cup of ice (even remembered to take my cup, so the ice was free this morning). And then… it was time to stop at the hospital for my weekly Protime check (because I’m taking Coumadin…which is a blood thinner. They have to keep a fairly close eye on it for awhile when you are taking it at first … to make sure your blood isn’t too thin or too thick).

No waiting at the check-in desk; and no waiting at the lab. Cool.

A young girl walks out and asks me how I’m doing, and we chat for a bit. A guy — someone who has drawn my blood many times over the last 3 years — watches. This makes me nervous. Is my blood going to be drawn by someone he is training? She feels around –I point out where they usually take it. The only problem is, its bruised from LAST WEEK’s draw. She asks, Mike comes and feels and looks, and says the bruise is to the side, and it should be ok. And then HE proceeds to draw it. *whew. I was glad. Although….I’m not sure HOW glad.

For the first time in 3 years … HE had problems. I literally did not feel a thing when he poked me — that was my first indication that this might not go as easily as it normally does. Nothing. He moves the needle around a bit more. And then, he tries a little harder.

“Are you doing OK?” he asks.

‘Yes”. What else could I tell him. To tell him different means he would start over. He finally did hit something, and we got blood. Again. *Whew. Something tells me they are going to “drill” for a new spot next week. I have a little knot where he poked, and its sore. Even with burising, its never been sore.

Ah yes. The joys of taking Coumadin.

At any rate. While all this is going on….i’m thinking about my banner.

“Fear Not. I am with you”. … “I will help you”…. and even though this isn’t exactly what the scripture says (it SAYS: I will uphold you with my righteous hand) — I was thinking about the scripture and “I will hold your right hand”. I know, I know, thats NOT what it says. But, as he is trying to take blood out of my left arm … I felt God’s presence, as he hold my right hand, and helps me, and I did not fear. It was over shortly. I didn’t need to be poked again. And yes, it was just a simple thing — and there are lives being saved and emergencies going on every second of the day that God comforts and helps. But, it was comforting to me, knowing he was right there, in my moment of slight distress, as the lab work was being done. A simple moment, and yet, He was there.

And THAT is why, its not going to be a bad day. He whispered in my ear last night, and I translated it into a banner … only to be reminded of it this morning, and comforted by it.

Weigh-in Update

I didn’t do spectacular, but then, I’m thinking on this particular plan, I’m not supposed to do “spectular”. I think slow and steady will be the pace, and I’ll be OK with that. On the exteme plan I did before, I would lost between 7 and 10 lbs a week. But, I’m not doing that plan. I also didn’t do the plan “right” last week because I didn’t understand the protein ratio and just exactly what it was I was to do. So, there has to be some compensation for that — for eating more calories and proteins this week. If I lose between 3 and 5 lbs each week, I’ll be happy.

And this week, I lost 3 1/2 … making a total of 16 1/2 in two weeks. I just need to focus on the collective picture and not just the one week, whatever it may be. I’m doing the best I can, and thats all that matters.

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Just The Little Things

I know “On My Weigh” is supposed to be my weight loss blog — and this is the primary blog, and the two shouldn’t cross. But. When, you eat, sleep, and think this whole diet plan…well, the two are going to cross. This IS my life right now. I won’t bore you with the details of what I’ve eaten and things like that — need to get a bit more consistent about getting that recorded “over there” … but, like it or not (those are words for me, not you, the reader), I am going to share “weight loss” thoughts over here as well.

Today is a weigh in day. I’m nervous. Even though I have noticed “differences” … I’m still scared I didn’t make any progress, that I didn’t lose any this week. Not because I’ve blown the plan or “been bad” …. actually, I have done quite good this week. I think what scares me, is, being almost 50 years old, they talk about the metabolism slowing down, and then the yo-yo dieting throwing it all out of whack. So, I guess in my head, I’m thinking there is this chance that no matter what I do, its not going to make any difference. I hope thats not the case, and I hope, as I see my intake numbers continue to be the same (the “right” calories, proteins, carbs, etc), that I will see the scale numbers move down….down….down.

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This & That

Another weekend has rolled around. Time has a way of just flying by. Have several things on my “to do” list that I would like to get accomplished today. But right now, I’m taking a break, and enjoying cantelope as one of my fruits for today.

I “charted” my supplements and other foods that I’m supposed to have these last couple of days, and so far, I’ve been pretty much right on target. In some ways, I would rather have the “easiness” of just doing suppliments. But, by adding these other food items in, I am learning all about calories and proteins and carbs, and how to balance them out — which is also one step into learning how to eat right, even though what I’m doing right now isn’t a “lifestyle”. Its just the first step — taking off the weight to a manageable level. And then we will reintroduce “everyday” foods, but in a sensible balanced way. By having to do that now with the one meal, by the time I DO get to maintence, I should have this all figured out. Coming from a family who tends to do nothing but “meat and potatoes” … this is a real eye opener. I’ve probably ate more fruits and vegetables in the last week than I have all year:)

Ethan was back to the doctor’s office yesterday. He’s had a really bad cough for the last couple of days, and we decided to try and nip it in the bud and get him over it. The first thing the doctor said was “You sound like you have pneunomia”. But, he checked his lungs and they were pretty clear, so its just broncial stuff — but he did say it could turn into pneunomia easier, so he got him on some antibodics and heavy duty cough syrup. His tonsils actually didn’t look too bad this time around.

I should have sent him home and put him to bed — but yesterday was Homecoming,and he had “committments” … so, even though he felt awful, he went ahead and went back to school, and followed through with his part in the Homecoming parade. I posted pictures here of the parade. Thats Ethan, the one dress all in black, passing out flyers. He represented the Drama club, and he and other kid in Drama club walked and passed out flyers letting people know when the two plays are this fall. He also got the play book for the one he is in …. lots of lines. *sigh. But, at least he’s doing the 2nd of the two, so that gives us a little bit more time.

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Everyday Things

Everyday Things is a weekly feature @ Everyday Mommy. It is designed to encourage all of us to embrace contentment and to appreciate the everyday things which we often take for granted. What is a favorite everyday thing of yours? Write about it, and then go let Jules know you did so others can be encouraged as well.

I will bet for the most part, most people take this for granted. The beating of your heart. Its just there, and it keeps us going. And yet, as I am faced with AFib (Atrial Fibulation) – many times a day, I will just stop, and be quiet, and listen … some days I’m not even aware of my heart beating, and that is how it is for most people. But other days, I can hear it pounding in my ear. And on really BAD days, its not a steady thump, thump, thump. Its a thumpthumpthump ……pause….flutter…..thumpitythump.

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Can’t Get Motivated

I dont’ know why, but I just can’t get it together and do a blog entry. And I have at least one piece of blog-worthy material to report. Or. At least you would think so. I just seemed to be scattered in several different directions emotionally right now.

Maybe its because my focus seems to be totally wrapped up in the weight loss program … although, if thats the case, why aren’t I blogging about it? I have a special blog set up for just that specific reason. And, again, I repeat, I have something worthy of an entry.

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Pass The Torch

Kelly believes in our youth and has started a new meme called “Pass the Torch”. The guidelines are simple: Catch ‘em being good — write about a kid/young person you witness doing something right (or smart, or helpful or responsible, etc.) Let me share with you, one time I caught Ethan “being good.

Taking part of this particular meme has made me stop, and look at Ethan in a different way. I’ve always known that he IS a good kid, but, as I’m looking for “material” to participate in this particular meme, I just never realized how much “material” he gives me.

This week’s is a very simple one, and yet, for all the reasons I can list to beat myself up, of things that I have messed up in my life … standing back, and watching Ethan, how he carries himself as a person in society, I know that maybe a few of things I have “taught” him, have stuck.

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Backing Up To The Weekend

Before I start on any more meme’s or any other participation things this week, I need to back up and go over my weekend. Not a spectacular weekend, but yet, one that I would like recorded to refer back to at a later date.

Thursday was my “big day” with the appointment and such. Since they wouldn’t let me go on the most extreme plan, and I am “required” to eat lean meat and vegetables at least one time during the day (plus 2 fruits), I decided to go ahead and start the plan on Friday, and work Friday’s supper into the plan. I’m still not clear on the beef part of it, so have it down in my list of questions to ask this week. But, I had pretty much decided that I would have a hamburger, no bun, and a salad. I had played with the idea of something else, but it wasn’t on the menu, even though the owner of the place that we go is really good about making “special orders” if he has the stuff. Ethan kept prompting me to ask — so I did. I wondered if the shrimp they put on the Shimp Fajitas could be put on a dinner salad. They didn’t think I was wierd at all. And It. Was. Wonderful. So, it all worked out fine. We took a little rubbermaid stool with us, and with that, my aunt was able to get into the Explorer, so that worked out as well.
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2996 - A Tribute to 9-11

1. Candace Lee Williams will be honored by D.Challener
2. Zoe Falkenberg will be honored by Jeni
3. Cmdr. William Howard Donovan will be honored by Shelli
4. Dorothy Alma DeAraujo will be honored by Chris
5. Lt. Gregg Arthur Atlas will be honored by Mandy
6. David W. Bernard will be honored by Sissy B.
7. Sgt. Maj. Lacey B. Ivory will be honored by D
8. Thomas Anthony Palazzo will be honored by Denise
9. Michael J. Armstrong will be honored by Karen

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A Day Remembered

As each annivesary passed, and the blogging world stops to remember that fateful date in 2001, I always hesitate to put my memories down. They seem so insignificant and trival compared to so many who’s lives were personally affected by the events of September 11. Living in the middle of the United States, far away from New York, Washington DC, Pennsyvania … alll the events seemed surreal. I will be honest and admit that I cannot emotionally grasp the intense pain and emotions the families, the friends, the loved ones went through that day, or the days to follow.

Living in my own little sheltered world in Kansas, we watched, as the world did, the events unfold. I was working 2 jobs then, just as I do now. One was at the church, as secretary, and the other at a placed called AST. Strangely enough, AST is my only “connection” to the that day.

That morning, I was working at the church. There was a ministerial alliance meeting that morning, so there were 7 or 8 ministers, meeting in a room just down the hall, when David called.

“A plane just flew into the World Trade Center”. We had done many trade shows in New York City, and had done sight seeing several times, taking in the WTC, as well as many other things and places NYC has to offer.

I pulled up the “Yahoo” front page on the computer as I talked to David. What a senseless accident, I remember thinking.

And then David calls back. He is driving this day — this is before the “dispatcher” days — and he was on the road, driving a grain truck, 5 days a week, not coming home usually until the weekends.

“ANOTHER plane has hit the WTC”, he said. I just sat there in disbelief. I got up and went in to the room where the ministers and updated them to what was going on. If we ever needed extra prayers, this was the time.

The morning unfolded, as we watched, listened in disbelief.

And yet — in Kansas, as in many other places not directly connected to NYC, Washington DC, or Pennsyvania, live went on as normal. We did our jobs, we tried hard not to think about what was going on, and we prayed.

AST was my afternoon job. They were located out by the airport, about a 10 mile drive from town. On the way out, my car quit. I don’t remember the mechanical problems now, but I was dead in the water, adn needed someone to come get me. They did, and I worked the rest of the afternoon. There was talk, but we were also instructed to keep the talking to a minimum. AST. Aviation. Simulation. Trainers. We built simulators that pilots trained on before coming pilots. As it turned out, the terrorists had trained on one of our simulators.

Before I left for the day, coincidently, my son from Emporia stopped by, and he was able to help me and my car home.

It wasn’t until we hit town, did it really sink in, really “hit home” the magnitutude of the events of the day. My little hometown — population 3000, a quiet, unetrusive little town …. there were cars at the gas stations, lined up for blocks. The police were directing traffic. It was a scene out of the movies, when you knew there was immediate danger and people were told to evacuate — those scenes of people at the gas stations. That was happening in our little town. It felt like the end of the world, and I became very very scared. This wasn’t something happening in a far off town anymore. “Whatever” had just happened this day, was affecting my little town too.

David wasn’t home, and as we talked, he decided to keep driving. I didn’t like his decision (and quite honestly, it affected our marriage for awhile). I felt betrayed by him, I was scared, and I felt alone. Like many others, I’m sure, I was afraid “it wasn’t over” - and I didn’t want to go through it by myself. I wanted my husband by my side.

I had to be strong, be brave for Ethan, who was a 5th grader at the time. A sense of anger took over, when I learned that they had shown the kids, the news, over and over and over. I believe the school system should have handled it differently, and let us, as parents, share what information about this day that we choose to. But, I also realize that it was just easier to be angry at the school than it was to be at my husband.

Our church had called together a prayer vigil, so the minister’s wife came and picked me up, and I attended this vigil. It was there, I found a sense of peace, a sense of hope, a sense of calmness. That no matter what happened in the days to come, we were in God’s hands, and we would be safe. Maybe not physically safe — losing our lives in the days to come was an unknown factor at the point — but, knowing that God was at the end of the journey for us, no matter what happened, it was then, and only then, could I face the days to come, with courage and without anger.

Shannon at Rocks in my Dryer has set up a place for us to share our 9-11 memories. Go here to read more.

What. A. Day

I want to get Thursday documented before it gets away from me. Bubble was wonderful for posting an entry for me — and I appreciate the prayers. But I would like to share “that’ day in my own words, in detail, so I can look back, and rejoice in just how far I’ve come … from that day.

6:45 am: Its an hour drive to Topeka, and then just a bit more to get to where you are going once you reach city limits. My appointment was actually at 8:20 … but they said to come earlier, like 8:00, to go ahead and get the lab work and EKG out of the way.

8:30 am: Weight taken, measurements taken, I am laid down on a table to take the EKG. I knew I was in trouble then. I can tell when my heart gets out of rhythm, and laying on my back like that, was all that it took to send it into its funny little rhythm. I use my CPAP faithfully at night, so this isn’t something I experience often, but I definately do know when it is happening. And it was happening now. NOT a good time for it to happen. I had “been here and done this” before.

9:00 am: I have consultation with Dr. Tague, and we go over a number of things. He asked me if I had ever considered gastic by-pass. We talked a bit about it, and he reccommended gastic-banding, and gave me some information to “just think about it”. But, in the meantime, we would go ahead and get started on the plan. Not the plan we had orginially thought, but one less extreme, because of the heart thing going on. He wanted me to see my doctor today about the irregular heartbeat. He later came back and retracked that. He wanted me to see my cardiologist. Stay in Topeka and see them at the first available appointment.

9:30 am: Lab work is done, and I’m pretty much ready to go. The nurse that had seen me through all of this, had made an appointment on my behalf … but it was at 2:15. That was 5 hours I had to kill … I didn’t bring anything to do, no extra money to speak of … come on. I’m fine, guys. I convinced her to cancel the apointment and I would get one for the next day, or even maybe this monday when my cardiologist come to Burlington. She complied, but I don’t think she was happy with my thought process.

9:45 am: Apparently not, because she conveyed to Dr. Tague just what I had asked her to do, and he told her to tell me to INSIST on seeing my cardiologist today. I rolled my eyes, and consented. When she called back, she was able to get an earlier appointment — 1:30. Not a whole lot better, but still better.

10:00 am. I’m sitting in my Ford Explorer, trying really really hard not to panic. Fighting the tears. Scared. And not really so much of what was going on, but just the “dumbness” of it all, for letting myself go, for pushing myself to the edge once again. All I could think of was the $10,000 it was going to cost us .. AGAIN … if they put me in the hospital. Same song, second verse.

10:10 am. I call David and give him the wonderful news. He wasn’t impressed, but he wasn’t angry. “Do whatever you have to do”. What choice did he have. The positive spin to all of this is — I kept running the thought through my mind that I shouldn’t have come to see Dr. Tague, and none of this would be happening. And yet, if I hadn’t, maybe I’m a walking time bomb again. Maybe, once again, God has intervene at “just the right time”, and thrown me down a path of wellness again. Maybe he still has plans for me, and fight as I might to keep messing those plans up, he just doesn’t give up on me, and sets me in the right direction yet once again to keep me alive.

10:15 am. I call my ex-DIL, to let her know. She was with me the first time around … so I wasn’t alone when I had to go to the ER and be run through a series of tests and admited to the hospital. She didn’t answer, and I left a message. I had forgotten I had put my phone on silence, so when she did call back, she had to leave a message.

10:30 am. I drive to the Christian Book Store. I am doing a new study this next week with a group of ladies here on the internet, and stopping and getting this book was on my list of things to do before heading home. I leisurely looked around at the store, knowing I had all kinds of time to kill. I ended up buying the Bible study book and a book on sale for $4.99.

12:00 am. Bought lunch, and drove to the hospital, and ate in the parking lot, just waiting for the time for me to go in.

12:30 pm. The hospital has Free Valet parking and I decided to take advantage of it. With my heart being AFib, I decided that it was probably smart not to aggravate it anymore by walking a long distance, parking my car. So, I did the Valet thing, go up to the doctor’s office… only to find a locked door. Apparently they have moved. I go back downstairs, sit down in one of the comfortable chairs, and call them. Yes, they have moved. Fortunately, it was just down the block.

1:00 pm. I find the place, park close to the door, and go in. Check in, and wait.

1:30 pm. I’m called back. I get to see a Physician’s Assistant instead of Dr. J. I’m OK with that, because I figured he would not be very impressed with me, seeing me in this state of AFib again, and no weight lost since the last time he saw me. The PA I had was really super nice, and very comforting. We talked about what we needed to do, and being admited to the hospital wasn’t one of the things she was considering. She thought just getting me started back on Coumadin and Toprol would be OK — and to give it a month, do a follow up visit, and if I’m still out of rhythm then, look into doing something about converting it. (the heart). “Converting the heart” just simply means getting or making it go back into rhythm. They first wait for Mother Nature to do it, and then sometimes, they will shock the heart to get it beating right. Forrtunately, we never had to do that. I pray we dont’ have to do it again. She went to see what kind of samples they had. She gave me a box of Coumadin that said “Package contains: 10 Tablets”. Monday, I need to go in for a Protime check, and a precription will be called in then for the right dosage. … or at least that is what I assumed. When I got home, and went to take my first pill that night…. there were FOUR 10 packs. She had given me a month’s supply. Since this medicine usually runs $70-80, I was very thankful for her geneousity.

2:30 pm. I head home. Making phone calls to let everyone know that I’m fine, and I’m coming home. I had just enough time to get home and pick Ethan up from school…. except that he called me at 3:15 and said he was riding the bus home, which was fine. We didn’t miss a beat. Too bad I can’t say the same thing about my heart.

God was faithful and stepped in when I needed him. He kept me calm and safe. Now its my turn to make a difference in my life, to make this body a temple worthy of serving him — a body able to serve him.

What. A. Day.

A Tribute

But who Ronald Sr. was went much further than that. On that fateful September day, he gave his life, trying to save others. Instead of evacuating the building, he ran down the hall, yelling for others to evacuate the building. He knew their lives were in immediate danger, and yet, he stayed, looking out for others. A co-worker that lived because of Ron’s gut reaction said ”

When I got to the stairs they were empty I just assumed Ron and everyone were running a few floors ahead of me. However, Ron had gone to the other side of the floor to make sure that everyone was evacuating. Through communication we found out that Ron did make it down stairs after rallying more of our co-workers to evacuate quickly and holding the doors for them. Sadly he did not get far enough away when the building collapsed to spare his life.

Ron Fazio was a HERO that day for myself, and many of us. Because of his initial gut reaction to get us out of there, I am alive today and so are many of my colleagues. He did not hesitate, he moved. He was the only one to take control and made all the right decisions so that our lives were spared. I pray that there will never be another day as that day. Ron showed unselfishness in a time of unconscionable fear.

This type of character is undying and his sprit will live on though me. Through out history, tragic events have turned ordinary people into extraordinary heroes. He was no Fireman. He was no Policeman. He was a BRAVEHEART. His concern was for his friends and co-workers. Even as he reached the ground floor, his priority was for our safety and us. If it weren’t for him I would not be here.”

Ron wasn’t one of those trapped in the upper floors and really did not have a choice to live or die. He was on the ground floor. He could have made it to safety. But, he stopped to help others out of the building. THAT is a true Hero, and I am humbled to have learned a little bit about this great man.

Tributes to other victims can be read here.

Pay Per Post

Becky wrote an entry awhile back about a site that pays you to blog. Yes — get PAID to do something that alot of us do on a daily basis. Actually, its not quite as simple as that, and yet, it is a good idea, and something I am going to participate in. Becky has participated and she has recieved money (via Paypal) for doing it, so its legit. Payperpost.com

This entry is just a “heads-up” to what may look like a “commercial break” to you … and yet, I hope that you will also find the products and sites that I review and write about informative and useful. You can tell it is a “Pay Per Post” entry because I will file it under that cagegory. I say this because, if you remember, last week, I was given the opportunity to recieve a book (retail $14.99) FREE, just for reading, and reviewing it on my blog. This book is in no way connected with the Pay Per Post — the book is written by a very sweet lady, and she is doing a “Blog Tour” with the book.

I know. I know. Just blog. Quite getting involved in all these things. And yet — thats me. The key though — is to keep my blog half way simple and most definately “organized” so you don’t fee l lost in a sea of things going in a hundred different directions. Always check the “catergory”. That will clue to you, most time, to what I am doing and why.

I know, its only Day 2 of my weight loss venture, but that spark is there … to grab hold, organize like a madman, and climb the mountain. I’m far from being “good” … but that little spark of that old me that I’ve been chacing, that I liked who I was …. is kicking at the door. She’s there. And within time, I have do doubt, she’ll be back, smaller but better than ever!

Now…. on with business…

Modesty

Jules over at Everyday Mommy has taken a stand on the clothing retails push for our little girls to wear. She is asking us to help her take a stand and send a message to the manufacturers and retailers. This is what she has to say:

In this recent post many of you shared your concerns about the current retail clothing trends for little girls and teen girls. The revealing nature of the styles and the slogans which convey attitude or sexual double entendre were of particular concern to you. You also shared your struggle with finding clothing that was stylish and fun, yet modest. Some of you even addressed this issue on your own blogs.

In an effort to raise our collective voices, I’ve created the Moms for Modesty Mission Statement. If you agree with the Statement, please “sign it” by leaving your affirmation in the comments of this post. This is not an issue that is exclusively Christian in nature, though I am a Christian mom. It is a parenting issue, a mom issue. If you wish to spread the word, copy the button and display it in the sidebar of your blog or in a post of your own.

IMPORTANT: Please link your post and/or button back to this post.

Many retailers, marketing and PR firms review mommy blogs for trends and opinions. If we speak as one we may be able to effect change. Please let your blogging friends know and if you normally don’t leave a comment, please leave one now.

Moms for Modesty Mission Statement

* As a Mom for Modesty I believe in common-sense modesty for girls and young women.
* I believe in refraining from sexualizing our girls and young women.
* I believe that it is unwise and unfair to taunt boys and young men by permitting my daughter(s) to dress in an immodest manner.
* I believe that true beauty comes from within and I strive to teach my daughter(s) this truth.
* I will loyally shop at retailers that provide girls’ and young womens clothing that is modest, affordable and stylish.

Friday Feast

Appetizer:
Name 3 things that you are wearing today.
Black & White Shirt; Black slacks; white tennis shoes

Soup
Who was the last person you hugged?
Becky (Joyful Mother) — we got to meet this past Monday

Salad
What do you like to order from your favorite fast food place?
Nachos with beef

Main Course
What time of day do you usually feel most energized?
Mornings. Anything past that, I’m am exhausted (but I’m hoping that changes!)

Dessert
Using the letters in your first name, write a sentence. (Example: Sweet unusual spaniels are nice.)
Carrots Are Really Only Long Yucky Nuggets
( I actually do like carrots, regardless of this silly little sentence).

Brief Update

Don’t ask … I know … I should take it easy, at least for the rest of the day. But, no such luck. I have a project I promised Gordon (our minister, my boss) I would do, but the email didn’t come through last night. So, I need to stop at the church, and resend, and then get it to printing here at home. Deliver them. And then I’m going out to the office and working a few hours there.

But, ya know the great part? — that fact that I can. I was on pins and needles from 10:00 until 1:30. But, no hospital stays. I do have to go back on a Coumadin plan and Toprol… but, no hospital. Praise God! Thank you praying. Just the way everything played out today, I could see prayers in action.

I will elaborate more on my day later, but just wanted to let you all know, I’m OK, and I’m home.

DON’T Panic, But DO Pray….

Hey, all…Some of you PROBABLY don’t know me, but this is The Bubble. I am Carolyn’s ex-daughter-in-law (LONG story). But anyway, Carolyn called awhile ago and asked if I would do an entry for you in here. MOST of you probably know that she had her first appointment with Dr. Tague this morning at 8A.M. Well, APPARENTLY, her heart is out of rhythm AGAIN, so they wanted her to see a cardiologist (I think) this afternoon. NEEDLESS to say, she is still in Topeka, waiting for her appointment to roll around, and TRYING not to panic. Her appointment is at 1:30P.M., and she would DEFINITELY appreciate some extra prayers between now and then!!!

We’ll keep you updated as we get more information!!!

Ch-ch-changes

Structure
With the birth of the new blog “On My Weigh” comes changes. Nothing drastic, but just a bit more organization and structure to what I hope to accomplish in my little blog world. I have already stated that my OMW blog is my “in the trenches” blog, covering my weight loss venture, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Its going to be hard, but for the most part, anything that has to do with the weight loss, will go over there. Thus, {Day 7} of the 21 Day challenge will be the last one I post here. Its dumb to copy and paste entries in 2 blogs. If you are going to keep 2 going, keep them seperate and distinct, with 2 very different purposes. Yes, I may interject a “Hey, guess what, I lost ___ lbs today — meet me over at OMW, and I’ll tell you more” from time to time. But that will be about it. So, just because you don’t “hear” (ah… read) anything about my weight loss venture in this blog, doesn’t mean it ain’t happenin’.

More Structure
Having Structure. Purpose — that feels good. So, I am going to try and carry that theme on into this blog. What I am finding is, more and more “groups” to be a part of. There are sooooo many wonderful groups — Christian — out there …. I know I just need to pick one, and give it 100%. But I won’t. I have meet some really good people from all the groups, and well… I like new things. I don’t want to be left out. I just need to find a bit of structure … a plan…

The “On My Weigh” journey is all about structure…plus, I will be gaining some things — motivation, dicipline, confidence, awareness — so maybe through that, will emerge the structure here that I am looking for. It should be quite simple, if I would just put pen to paper … fingers to keyboard. And. Follow. Through.

Part of me says to find “the purpose” of this blog — have a mission statement of sorts. And yet, I dont’ want to be so rigid, that I can’t add whatever is on my mind. But, when I go with the “whatever is on my mind” theory, I feel like I am swimming in a sea, but not really going anywhere. So, what IS it I want out of A Prairie View? I want it to be an expression of me. I think I have captured part of it — the visual part. Whether or not its “me”, I’m not sure, but it does make for a nice, comfortable, pleasing to the eye place to come, and in that I find satisfaction and contentment (that is, WHEN I can find the right layout. For right now, I actually have achieved that….for me).

But the content.

I guess first and foremost, it must be “me”. If the words don’t come easily, then, I’m out of my element of “me”, and must examine to why the words don’t come easily. Am I trying to be like someone else? I want to share of myself. My thoughts, my dreams, my doubts, my days.
I want to be involved in various weekly things. I want to share my faith, I want people to know I’m a believer.

So What’s The Problem?
And you know what. When I put it down on paper like this — isn’t this what I am already doing with my blog? I think maybe I need to share my thoughts on my faith, and how God works in (and on!) my life every day just a bit more. But other than that, everything I want to be doing with this blog, I think I’m doing. So whats the problem? I think everything I have said here, is suffice to say that I’m moving the 21 Day Challenge over to On My Weigh, and possibly picking up another “daily” discussion piece that will be done here, and ties in my thoughts of my faith and my God a bit more. Why didn’t I just say that in the first place???? Because, thats not who I am. I ramble. I take 10 miles around to go a 1/2 mile destination. But ya love me anyway … and thats ANOTHER reason I blog. But you love me and you support me, and you pray over me lots. You keep me from giving up — on myself, on life in general. You cheer me on. You pick me up when I stumble. And you let me try. And try. And try again. It doesnt’ matter that I have tried to structure my life a hundred and fifty times before (and thats just in the span of time YOU have known me). When I attempt to structure my life once again, you encourage me on like its the very first time. I am truly blessed by each and every one of you.

Discussion: Have you ever been so complacent that you forgot where your blessings come from? Have you ever become so comfortable with your faith that you’ve forgotten to practice it?
My first reaction is no, I have never been comfortable with my faith that I have forgotten topractice it. There are days I do forget to give God the glory for my blessings. But I’m not comfortable with it. I feel like its a flaw in me. That lack of ability to committ to anything. But I know that not to be true. And the basic truth is, God knows my flaws, my ability to forget to thank him for my many blessings — but he knows my heart, and he loves me anyway.

{Day 7} Endless Possibilities

Our aspirations are our possibilites

Aspirations…reaching for the stars. Dreaming. We all do it; and more often than not, they are just that …dreams. Something, that when thought about, makes us wistful, makes us “wish” we could do that; but without putting anything into action, its nothing more than that. A dream. Something not real. Something just out of our reach.

Tomorrow.

I stop dreaming. I am putting those dreams, those aspirations into “possiblity” mode. It is possible that I become a normal and healthy weight. It is possible that I can take this and become successful at it. I already have some wonderful cheerleaders on my side. I’m not going alone on this new journey of mine.

Yes. I’m reaching for the stars. But, I’m taking friends with me. And that will make all the difference in the world.

Countdown: 1 days

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Credit: The {21} Day Challenge
Intro: Why the {21} Day Challenge:
Archive: {21} Day Challenge