A Prairie View

Feeling Good About Myself

Its been awhile since I’ve “dressed up”. Most Sunday, I either wear slacks and a nice sweater or blouse, or when I do wear a dress, I don’t accessorize. But, within time, I would like to turn some of my lifestyle habits around, making them better, and get to a point where I feel good about myself. Maybe get my hair cut, or permed … I have really long hair, so that would take a major decision on my part to actually consider that. But, I just have a sneaking suspicion that if I were to put on a nice dress, some make-up, get my hair done up special, and accessorize with wholesale fashion jewelry it would do me a world of good in the way I feel about myself these days. There are days I don’t even want to get dressed, let alone do anything that would involve time and effort to be presentable. I need to put these days behind me somehow. They don’t seem to be getting better, and I really really don’t want them to get any worse!

Watching Out For Us

The elders at the church we attend (and also where I am secretary) are in the early stages of putting together a Shepherding program. I gave them an updated list of the members, and they split the families among them, giving them each a list of families to pray for, to send notes and cards to, to shepherd them and just watch out for their spiritual well being. For the most part, all of this will come from them. They will be responsible for sending the notes, and such — not passing it on to their wives, or to me as the church secretary. One thing they did ask me to do was to have birthday, anniversary, get well, and all occasion cards available to them. So, the church treasurer and I went on a search for the best buy we could find on cards. We found a company that we were able to get 100 cards for $65.00; so thats not bad. We got them ordered and we received them last week; so we are all set to go. A couple of the elders have already been in to find out where the cards would be stored, and pulled some for them to send. Its good to see the elders getting involved like this, and showing more leadership and responsibility than what has been shown in the past.

Drama Junkie

Ethan is such a drama junkie. No, he’s doesn’t make our lives interesting by being a drama king on a daily basis –he’s usually pretty laid back and easy going. But he loves being a part of the drama club, and doing plays and performing as much as he can. When he went to the State Thespians conference in January, he said they had a silent auction for various different things. They didn’t have rare movie posters, but they did have framed play bills, and there was one that he really wanted. He ended up paying a little more for it than he wanted, but he ended up getting it. He is such a good kid. Yes, he aggravates me sometimes, and he doesn’t listen and do what I want him to do at times. But, as I read the newspaper, and see the names of kids he goes to school with, that are in his class, that are getting busted for alcohol possession, or other run ins with the law… I count my blessings. Yes. Ethan has had some “dealings” with law enforcement … with his fender benders, and he got pulled over once for having a tail light out on his car. But, so far, nothing serious. And for that, I am grateful and thankful that Ethan is … well…. Ethan.

Friday Fill-ins

#60

1. Being together is the best thing about traveling.
2. I love a good warm blanket when I’m cold.
3. I often use book studies for blogging.
4. I’m reading Truffles By The Seas right now; I reviewing it.
5. Sex is something I dislike talking about.
6. When I visited the scrapbook store I most looked forward to seeing Ruth.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to going to bed, tomorrow my plans include dishes, more of the kitchen organization plan and computer time and Sunday, I want to take pictures of the snow that surprised us!

Unbelievable

This has been THE strangest winter.  You watch the weather report.  You stock up.  You prepare.  And then for us … its not been nearly as bad as they predicted.  We’ve gotten some snow, some ice, and other yucky weather when they said we would, but it has always skirted around us.  We breath a sigh of relief, and go on about business as normal.

But tonight.  The normal forecast of late.  Sleet, to follow with a little bit of snow.  We had a Mexican Fiesta event at our church.  Started at 5:30, and we got there around 5:15 or so.  It was sleeting when Ethan went to work at 3:30, and it was sleeting a little when we went to the church, but not bad.

Fast forward a couple of hours.  We’ve eaten. We’ve worshiped with 3 Rusty Nails — an awesome gospel group that is from the local area.  We go to leave.  The men head out the door with snow shovels.  What?  Do they need to scrap that much sleet off the sidewalks?  No.  Several inches of snow.  It was amazing.  It had snowed a couple of inches in that short period of time, and was still coming down.  We had no clue, and if it was in the forecast, we sure weren’t paying attention.   According the tomorrow’s forecast though, its supposed to be a beautiful day, with the high being like 51.  So, if I want to get pictures of how deep the snow got, I had probably taken them before church while it’s still cold.   It has been such a weird winter.

I Didn’t Make It

It sounded like bacon sizzling outside. It was sleeting, and was just not a good deal outside. But, I ventured on into the church, and got my mission accomplished, for the most part. I have 50 directories run and bound, and ready for distribution. I will do the other 25 tomorrow. I need to find a way to be nice to my boss. He shoveled and salted the sidewalk for me, plus started my Explorer and scrapped the windshield and windows. I can’t tell you how much I appreciated him doing that!

Then I ventured out to the trucking company. David was still in Topeka, but I have plenty to do out there, and a key to get in if he’s not there. Normally, I can park in the carport, and all is good. But. There was already a car there, and our boss was parked behind them. So, that meant having to park in the driveway, which has a bit of a sloop. Not bad, but nonetheless, a bit of a sloop. I put one foot out, and when I couldn’t get any traction — it just kept sliding, I decided I wasn’t going to chance it. Put my foot back in the Explorer, and went home.

I called David later to see if he had made it back — which he had — and I asked him if I was over reacting by coming home. And he actually agreed with me, that it was slick, and it probably was best that I didn’t attempt to try to make it into the office. Esp. since he wasn’t there.

So there went one day of not working on the IFTA stuff. I had had it at home; but since I knew I would be working on it at the office, I took it back. If it had still be at home, I would have worked on it there. Oh. well. Such is life. I am such a chicken these days when it comes to ice. Me going down on ice, would NOT be a good deal, nor a purty sight.

D-Day Has Arrived

Tomorrow is D-Day.   Directory Day.  Whooo Hooo!   My boss said to let ‘em run.  We have read and proof-read, we have made changes, and made phone calls to track down information.   The church directory is ready to run and distribute.  That is my project for tomorrow.  And its only Thursday, so at the trucking company, I would like to make a big dent in the IFTA report paperwork I have let pile up.  I said this quarter I was going to stay on top of it, and get it done, week by week.  But somewhere along the line, I let a week go by; and then last week, I didn’t even work out there Thursday or Friday, so there goes another week.  But.  I have 2 days — which is 8 hours of time, to devote to it, and thats what I am going to do.  I would really like to go into this weekend, “major project” free — and carry that feeling into the home, and hit some major projects here.  Good Feeling!

Day To Day

Somedays, I feel like I am juggling one ball too many. And I’m going to drop it, and the rest of them will come tumbling down as well. I did make a list over at my Life Simplified blog, and that has helped quite a bit … calming the anxiety of knowing I am probably going to forget to do something, as well, as the satisfaction of crossing things off. It just seems to draw all these things I have “out there” all in together, and make order of them, in a simplified way.

I realized though, that I’m focusing on blogging about all this stuff, which is fine — I have always enjoyed working through workbooks and studies and such, even before computer days, so bringing it to the table with my blogging is just an extention of that. But, it dawned on me that I’m leaving an important part of blogging out these days, and I need to draw that back in. Day. to. Day. life. Yes, even with the workbooks and studies, it draws “me” stuff in, sharing with you, the reader, things about me, thoughts, my past, dreams of the future, etc. But, I have dropped the ball on doing the day-to-day kind of blogging.

Part of the reason is because I feel like I’m in a rut. I do the same thing, every day. Work at the church, work at the trucking company, go home. Even the weather hasn’t changed much lately. Cold. Cold. Cold. I’m still working on the directory. I’m still working on the IFTA report. Same Old, Same Old. But, by not blogging about “my everyday stuff”, I feel like I am missing a fundemental part of blogging…or journaling. I love it when we are talking about something, and we can’t quite remember all the details of that particular event, and I am able to draw up my archives, and say “OK, this is what happened, and what day it happened on”. When I’m actually “in the day”, it doesn’t seem important. But….a year from now, 5 years from now…10 years from now…. its important to me. Esp. now. My memory is lapsing. Ethan and I dispute from time to time “just what happened”. And alot of times, its just simple stuff.

So, I am sorry if I bordeline being dull and blogging about the same stuff, day after day. But. That is my life, and I want to bring that part of me back to my blogging. Yes, I’m glad I have been able to incorporate some of the other stuff as well. But, I need to take this back to the basics, and then do the other stuff afterwards.

Looking Good

When I was at the grocery store today, I ran into someone who used to go to our church. She didn’t leave on good terms, but she hasn’t let her feelings about “the church” reflect on me. She is always really friendly, and for that, I am grateful. I had seen her a couple of weeks ago at the post office, but it was one of those bitterly cold days, and she was all bundled up, and so the only thing I noticed different about her was that she had changed her hair color. It looked good on her, and was a good change.

Today, at the grocery store, I understood the color change. She looked wonderful! She has lost 60 lbs, and she looks great. We were in line, checking out, and Ethan was at the register next to us (as family, I can’t ever go through his line) — he wasn’t checking anyone out right at that moment, so she and him were chatting …. she had said something that him being taller than her wasn’t allowed. She said something else, and then mentioned losing 60 lbs, which I responded by telling her she looked great. But I didn’t have a chance to ask her what she did to lose the weight. I would venture to say ellipticals were involved. Seeing her, and how great she looked was a stark reminder that I really need to turn things around in my own life, and make the same kind of difference.

Passing It On

MoonShadow bestowed me with the wonderful award. Thank you, MoonShadow! Now, I will pass it on to 5 more deserving bloggers (actually, I’m going to list 7. These gals are all deserving. Cass and Becky have been working on weight loss and they are doing really well!

1. Bubble

2. Vicki

3. Grams

4. DK

5. Becky

6. Cass

7. Sandy

Friday Feast

Appetizer
Name one thing that is unique about you.
I have sons that are 13 months apart — and then my sons are 13 years apart (Jason was born in 1976, Matt in 1977. Ethan was born in 1991).

Soup
Fill in the blank: My favorite food is Mexcian but I like Italian too.

Salad
What type of wood do you have for your home’s furnishings?
light oak

Main Course
Who do you talk to most often on the phone?
It used to be my mom; we would talk almost everyday on the phone, even though she just lived across town. But, she passed away in 2003. So…I would say David — my husband — would be that person. He calls all the time to see what I’m doing, or to tell me about his “wonderful” day (he dispatches for 13 trucks …YOU tell me how wonderful most days are….) I used to talk to a really good friend who lives in KC quite a bit on the phone. Not everyday, not even once a week. But when we did get on the phone, we would be on for an hour or more. I miss that, and was just thinking about that this morning. Even though she is out of town this weekend, I think I’m still going to call her and leave her a message. We are getting horrible weather conditions in this area, and where they have traveled to, so thought I would call and leave her a message for her to call me tomorrow night, or whenever they get back, so I know they got home OK.

Dessert
What level of responsibility do you have in your job?
Quite a few. In the mornings, as a church secretary, I am responsible for keeping up with all the church attendance numbers and imformation (current addresses and phone #, etc), to get the bulletins out each week, a newsletter every other week. To keep the minister on task [grin], and a whole list of other things. In the afternoons, I work at my husband’s office, where we keep 13 trucks rolling down the road. With that job, my responsibilities come in the form of all the paper work. The billing, the receiving of checks and making sure they get to the bank. Checking the guys expense sheets, log sheets, and doing a quarterly IFTA report. Keeping everything file and update to date, so when David or our boss needs to find something out about a truck, everything is in the file. So, I would say my level of responsibility isn’t top level, but it does help maintain the flow of keeping the business going.

Macy’s and Graduation

I keep thinking about we will do for Ethan when he graduates next year. Since he has a passion for drama and theatre, I know that he would be estatic if we would book a trip to New York and take him to a Broadway show. But, if we were to do this “once-in-a-lifetime” kind of trip, I think some Macys coupons should be in order as well, so I could go shopping. Who can go to New York and not shop at Macy’s? I’ve been to New York a couple of times, mostly on business, doing trade shows. And we did a few of the tourist things, but Macy’s wasn’t on the list. This time around, if we were to do this, Macy’s would be on our agenda as well.

Friday Fill-Ins

#59

1. Snowdrops are causing havoc at our house today (Sunday).
2. I’m going to go to church and then we’ll decide what we will do.
3. Step By Step  a song whose lyrics have meaning to me.
4. Just one sip and I’m warm when I drink hot cocoa.
5. Home is where I’m happiest.
6. I believe that love is a necessary part of life.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to watching Las Vegas, tomorrow my plans include tackling more stuff in the kitchen (decluttering, etc)  and Sunday, I want to celebrate Ethan’s birthday early!

Books: What Is On My Reading List

B

BOOKS: What’s on your reading list?

Just to limit it to a few …

• The Nanny Diaries

• Truffles by the Sea

• The Perfect Life

• Sweet Caroline

• For Pete’s Sake

• Betrayed

I’m currently reading Sister, Ink by Rebecca Seitz, which I have fallen in love with a whole new series. Up until now, the Yada Yada Prayer Group series was my all time favorite; but I read the last of the series a couple of weeks ago. It was literally the last book of the series, so no more Yada Yada books to look forward to. I have a mountain of books that I need to index and get added to my library list. Although, I might have to watch my laptop memory — I have a bookcase of books, as well as several tote boxes that need to be put on shelves … if I had room for more shelves, which I don’t. I do have a plan though. Its just a matter of decluttering and doing some changing around. I’ll get it done one of these days.

If I Were An ANIMAL. . .

A
If you were an ANIMAL, what would you be?
I know there are alot of beautiful, powerful animals out there, but I think that I would want to be a simple little house cat. One that lived in a family that loved me. Curling up with the lady of the house, keeping her warm, and letting her know that I would always be there, even though it is in our nature to be independent and not needing others. I love the way cats preen themselves, everything has to be just so. And of late, our cat seems to always be around me, just like a 2 year. Doesn’t matter what room of the house I’m in, there he is. But its comforting (as long as I’m not tripping over him). He has been like my own little space heater this winter. If I were to be a animal, I would like to be like our cat is. Loved and very much a part of our family. As a Cat 5 cables running across the floor would get me tangled up, but I would still play, acting silly with the members of my family. Changing my tail, changing that little lazer light, letting them think that I’m just a goof ball. But I’m making them laugh, and that is what is truly important.

A - Z

There are several “A-Z” kinds of memes and “get to know me” themes going around in the blogosphere. I’m going to start with this one, and then move on to others in the days and months to come.

A If you were an ANIMAL, what would you be?

B BOOKS: What’s on your reading list?

C COMPULSIVE about anything?

D DREAMS - Do you … dream in color? remember your dreams? keep a dream journal?

E EATING - what’s your usual snack?

F A Few of your FAVORITE Things

G GIGGLES! What (or who) makes you laugh? Do you have a good sense of humor?

H major HOT Button:

I I am ______________

K Also KNOWN As… Aliases? Screen names? A non de plume perhaps?

L I LOVE …

M How do you feel about MEETING people? Do it all the time? Rarely? Parties or 1-on-1?

N What’s the story of your NAME? were you named after anyone? Do you go by a nickname? Any aliases?

O OBSERVANT - What’s around you right now? What do you see?

P Who are the special PEOPLE in your life?

Q Any Little QUIRKs About Yourself:

R What do you like to do for RECREATION?

S Do You SING in the Shower? In the car? For your friends?

T What’s at the Top of your TO DO list?:

U Any UNUSUAL Experiences:

V VEGAS, Vienna, Venice, Vladivostok… How far have you traveled? What’s your favorite City?

W WINTER, Spring, Summer, Fall… What’s your favorite season? What makes it sspecial?

X EXes - Things You Don’t Do Anymore (but did, once (would you, again?))

Y Any secret/deep YEARNINGS?

Z ZERO to ZENITH - Where are you in your life? Still growing? On an upward (or downward) curve? Just skating along?

Dream Come True

David never ceased to amaze me. He is not someone to go out and spend money foolishly, or extravagantly. And he hates going into debt. We can see the light at the end of the tunnel … in just a couple of years, we will be debt free. Our house will be paid off, our Explorer will be paid off in a couple of months, and the camper should be done by mid-summer. So, imagine my surprise when he started talking about possibly building a house. At first, I thought it was just one of those “if I had a million dollars” kind of thoughts. But. His brother is thinking about trying to buy part of their dad’s farm land to build a house. And that sparked an idea in David, and he would really like to get the section right next to it. Its not something we’ll do in the next year or two, but I wouldn’t be surprised that it would happen in the next 5 to 10 years. We have talked about different styles of houses, from a split level, to one with a walk out basement because where he is wanting to build, its kinda on a hill, and would be perfect for a house with a walk-out basement. Since it will only be the 2 of us, even something like the Pigeon Forge cabin rentals we saw when we went to Gatlinburg to do trade shows would be a good idea to pattern our house after. I don’t know. But, it is nice to share a dream like this, and see it become a reality.

I did make him promise though — that if something happened to me, (with the heart problems, you just never know), that he would take the life insurance money we have on me, and go build his house. I don’t want him to buying some run down trailer house because its just him, and living like a hermit. I even told him, give it an appropriate amount of time (a year or two), and then find someone, get remarried, and enjoy the house, and the grandkids, and the life. I made him promise. He is so excited about this house, I want to see that dream come true for him, one way or the other.

Keeping It Close To Home

After I got an iPod Touch for Christmas, and Ethan used his money to buy a regular iPod, our MP3 players seem to have gathered dust since then. But I hate to get rid of them — when Ethan goes on a trip or out of town, I really don’t want him taking his iPod. So, the MP3 player is a good compromise. One of them we got free when I ordered some paper from Quill, and the other one… I’m not sure where we got it — I think Ethan probably bought it — a cheap alternative to a mom who kept saying “no” to buying him an iPod. If he loses the MP3 player, or it gets stolen, then we aren’t throwing hundreds of dollars out the window. I can’t believe how small the regular iPods are. Its definately something that could be easily lost. So, I would just as soon he kept it close to home.

Saturday Special

1. Thing You’re Afraid To Do?:  Speak in front of an audience.  Public speaking, even if its just in front of a few people, terrifies me

2. Thing Scientists Need To Invent?:  a pill that makes dieting easy and effortless, no matter how many mistakes we make along the way.

3. Thing That Would Make You Very Happy?:  a new house.  David has started talking about wanting to build a new house — we even have the ground all picked out.  Following through with this would be a dream come true, and would make me very happy. 

4. Thing About Valentine’s Day That’s Special To You?:  David shows me extra attention, using buying flowers or a card … something he usually doesn’t do during the rest of the year.

Join in on The Saturday Special here.

Friday Fill-in

#58

1. I’m looking forward to scrapbooking with Ruth on March 8.
2. London is a place I always wanted to visit and haven’t made it there yet.
3. I’ve fallen in love with the new Shifter theme.
4. Six of one, half a dozen of another.
5. Addiction to blogging can be hazardous to your time restraints.
6. The things Malachi says crack me up!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to watching Las Vegas with my hubby, tomorrow my plans include staying home and saving my money for my scrapbooking day with Ruth and Sunday, I want to do some cleaning and organizing!

Mother Nature Is A Tease

Mother Nature was such a tease earlier this week. I think it was Tuesday, it was won-der-ful. I stepped out of the church at noon, and locked the door, and it was so warm and spring like. I just automatically felt so much better. Had a spring in my step, and just savored the moment of what felt like spring. David laughed at me later that afternoon, because my phone alerted me to a “winter weather advisory”. It was 60 degrees outside, and my phone is warning me of a winter storm? But, if you read the advisory, it was for weather on the way. Snow. Ice. Within the next 24 hours. And sure enough. We woke up to a world covered in white. Back to warming the Explorer up early. Back to wearing a heavy coat. Back to taking little baby steps as I made my way into the church to work. *sigh. I don’t regret having the spring-like day only to be thrown back into the deep freeze of winter, but I will say it again. I. don’t. like. winter. I am ready for spring!!!

Words Of Comfort

You gotta love good friends, and I have me one (don’t you just love my good grammar [grin]). There are a few things going on in my life — not really directly, but yet close enough to affect and consume many of my thoughts and puts my emotions all over the board. And I have a few negative thoughts towards myself for not taking a stand, one way or the other. But this good friend of mine, basically told me that I need to give my head and heart a good colon cleanse, that Satan was attacking me, and that I AM a good person, and not having the answers is not a reflection of me being a bad person. What she said was comforting words to me, reminding me what I good friend I have in her, as well as reminding myself that I need to stop getting down on myself, and to just keep praying for the best outcome in this situation. Good advice!

A New Look In The Future

We are on a cleaning spree this afternoon. Ethan is home for a change, and I’m taking advantage of the extra help. As I look around the living room, the thought just occurred to me that we have THE perfect wall for a tv wall mount system. It would totally switch things around to the way this living room has always been, but it would probably make the room look bigger, and would definately add a new concept to it. Our TV is several years old …. more than that … we bought it for my mom for Christmas one year, and she has been gone 4 years, so its probably 6 or 7 years old. I wonder if I can convince David that is the way we need to go when it comes time to buy a new TV.

A Mistake Made

I thought it was behind me. There was a time in my life when money and myself were not a good match. I did all kinds of things to mess up our finances. But, I am happy to say that we finally reached a middle ground that works for both of us, and more importantly, I can get through the day without fear of the phone ringing, or worrying about what might come in the mail, or what David might find. Its been a good couple of years, and it really isn’t a place I ever want to go back to. But old reactions die hard. David messed up last week. He didn’t get into town early enough Saturday to deposit his check. And then. He forgot. It was Tuesday evening when he realized he still hadn’t made a deposit, although he had been paying bills like he had. Needless to say, his
checking account took a hit. 2 overdrafts. The bank paid them, but it still didn’t make him a happy camper. Why did I say old reactions die hard? When I saw the overdrafts, my first reaction was pure panic. “OMG…how am I going to fix this?” was my thought. I was in pure panic mode.

And then. It hit me. This wasn’t me. I didn’t mess up. I wasn’t given his check to deposit, I haven’t written any checks on his account, have not even asked for a check to get groceries or anything else. I was not responsible in any way, shape, or form for what had just happened. But that didn’t stop me from being in tears. From having that knot in my stomach.

Here’s where things are different though (course, it helps when you aren’t at fault). I gave him the 2 slips from the bank. I didn’t hide them or try to make them go away. I knew he’d be mad. Even though I knew the anger wouldn’t — couldn’t — be directed at me, I knew he’d be mad. There was a day I would do anything - conceal anything — to keep him from getting mad. But. I gave him the evidence of his mistake, watched him get mad — at himself — and then I had a good cry, and was so happy to hear the words “this isn’t your fault. I’m the one who messed up”. We’ve come a long way. Both of us.

No Pressures, No Deadlines

It goes without saying that I am always happy when the weekend rolls around. But this week more than normal. There were just lots of extra things going on, things with deadlines, and anxious moments of “am I going to get it done on time?”. I did, and can breathe a huge sigh of relief that those things are done and I can move on to other projects. I still have a few things to do that aren’t on the normal agenda of things to do, but I am confident that I can make it all work, and this coming week will be a good week as well. Just gotta get through tomorrow first. Scout Sunday. Ethan’s a Boy Scout, so he and the other boys will be doing a few things in our worship service. They were supposed to do special music, but the other boys didn’t want to, so Ethan opted out as well. After his last song near-disaster (the CD that he burned wouldn’t play on the sound system at the church. Fortunately, one of the ladies of the church over heard the problem, and knew what song he was singing, and was able to go home and get her store bought CD, and he used that.) — he doesn’t want to sing with anything that isn’t store bought. And we haven’t been to Topeka lately to get any. So, I didn’t push him to sing. It’ll be fine.

For now, I just want to sit back, and enjoy my weekend, with no pressures or deadlines!